


I Can't Be The Only One

by softenderys



Category: NCT (Band), WAYV
Genre: Fluff, M/M, posh!hendery, singer!xiaojun, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-02
Updated: 2019-06-02
Packaged: 2020-04-06 15:50:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19065751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softenderys/pseuds/softenderys
Summary: Hendery has everything he needs in life. He's born with a silver spoon, rich and spoiled.But he is also tired of everything. To the point where his life is nothing but a dull grey.In a trip to Ukraine, however, he met a boy who put colors back into his world.





	I Can't Be The Only One

**Author's Note:**

> This is unbeta-ed, please forgive me for mistakes. Also, I've never been to Ukraine so these are all based on Google,,,really hope I can go there someday though!!

Hendery has everything that life has to offer. 

 

He's born with a silver spoon, a huge mansion and a steady flow of cash into his bank account. He never has to worry about anything because his parents would give the best solution to everything—money. 

 

Whenever he needs company, his parents would give him money to spend; whenever he needs to travel, his parents would whip out a platinum credit card, unlimited spending so he could use it to the fullest. It'a a dream come true to everyone, where money is not a problem. 

 

But for Hendery life is just a dull grey, limited of the colors that it has to offer no matter how hard he tries to see the beauty of it. Everything is just bland to him, vague and boring. He stops caring about anything at all—his heart turns cold and the sparkle in his eyes disappears. 

 

"Hendery, look! Isn't she hot?"

 

Lucas' voice reaches his ears. Hendery gave a small sigh. He's forced to turn to the side, really. Otherwise he'd still be lost in thought while staring outside the window. 

 

_ Yeah, she's hot. But the sky looks more interesting now.  _

 

Hendery turns his head away, receiving a scowl from his friend.

 

"What's up with you? You seem to be mad at everything these days." The girl is forgotten. Lucas has his full attention towards his childhood best friend. Well, at least in Lucas' viewpoints; Hendery could care less about their friendship.

 

"I'm not mad." Hendery replies. Simple. 

 

But it doesn't answer Lucas' questions. "Are your parents fighting again?"

 

Hendery thinks about it briefly. He remembers hearing the loud crash of things coupled with shoutings echoed within the house but he's grown used to it. By the time he wakes up, his father is nowhere to be seen; probably on another flight somewhere while his mother still asleep in their bedroom. He doesn't even bother with breakfast.

 

"Nah, it's not that." He lies, because what's the point of telling Lucas the truth? Well, half the truth because honestly he's just tired in life. "I'm tired. It's nothing serious, really."

 

Silence hangs between them. Hendery can feel Lucas' eyes staring deep at his face in concern and he hates the guilt that creeps up his spine and eats him alive. He's a bad friend, he knows. But he's upset at everything for no reason so he should at least try to avoid as many conversation he could so he doesn't upset anyone else.

 

"If you say so." Lucas eventually gives in. He stands up with the helmet in his hand. "I'm leaving now. Do you need a ride?"

 

Funny how he always has a driver to pick him up in campus yet Lucas still asks this question. Hendery hates driving by himself because it makes him feel uneasy, and he gets upset easily so seeing all these stupid bastards on the road would just make everything worse. 

 

He gives a small smile, a smile that's been absent throughout the day except for this one particular question. 

 

"Yeah, sure."

 

Pretty sure his driver would still come to pick him up, but having Lucas sending him home means they can go around town and hit the club for a bit. His mother is leaving for the States anyway, no one would reprimand him for coming home late.

  
  
  
  
  


If Hendery remembers correctly, he was only 5 when Lucas moved in to the neighbourhood. They live two houses away from each other, but they met everyday in kindergarten. Lucas is a loud and energetic kid who speaks with a very thick Hong Kong accent. But he speaks in a bizarre way that it takes Hendery some time to understand, even if his Mandarin and Cantonese are considered good and he takes pride in them.

 

His parents weren't always home so it was Mrs. Tan, the head of maids in their house,that took care of him. He's also an only son so it can get lonely sometimes. Mrs. Tan let him play with Lucas whenever he wanted, either at his own house or at his friend's. 

 

He was happy then, even if he only had one friend. Making friends was never one of Hendery's strong suit.

 

"Remember that trip we talked about?" 

 

They talked about many trips before. And went to many trips too.

 

Hendery looks up from his position on the swing to Lucas who was leaning on the slide in opposition of him. It was the playground that they used to go as a kid. Sometimes they come here to unwind, sometimes the playground speaks out to them.

 

"Which trip?"

 

It's almost 2 in the morning and Hendery feels a shiver ran up his spine. He takes the leather jacket his friend offered. A little oversized because Lucas is huge, but it's warm enough and smells like Vanilla. Hendery likes it.

 

"Ukraine. You've always wanted to go, right?"

 

Hendery nods.

 

"I have a friend who lives there. He can take us around." Lucas explains. A clanking sound resonates through the air as he steps on the empty can of beer. 

 

Hendery likes the idea. "Yeah, sure. But when are we leaving?"

 

"In three weeks? Right after finals?"

 

"Sure."

 

 

 

 

 

  
  
The first thing Hendery notices when he arrives at the airport isn't the latest Gucci jacket he's sporting on, but he was focusing on the fact that Lucas doesn't show up alone. There's another guy next to him, taller than Hendery but undeniably good looking. There's a small smile on his lips, greeting him before Lucas can even say anything else. 

 

"Hi, I'm Winwin. Lucas' boyfriend."

 

Hendery snaps his head around and looks at the taller, whose face beet red with the tip of his ears turning a shade of scarlet.

 

"I thought you were straight?"

 

"I thought so too until I met him."

 

Hendery snickers before playfully punching his sides. "Idiot, you could've told me."

 

"I couldn't find the right time." Lucas gave a sheepish smile, intertwining his and Winwin's hands together.

 

Winwin laughs anyway and Hendery finds it adorable. He can't deny the sharp pang of jealousy though, having never been with anyone at all in his entire life. He's not desperate anyway. Although the urge to love and be loved by someone has been a desire he tries to suppress. 

 

When Hendery wakes up, he vaguely registers the voice of the pilot flying the airplane. He groans as he feels the stiffness on his neck and creeping up to form a headache. The lady sitting next to him puts her book aside and gives him a small smile.

 

"We're almost there."

 

Hendery doesn't like talking with strangers, but he's forced to sit with someone else when his friends are basically draped across one another somewhere at the front cabin. Not that he minds anyway; he should learn to be independent. And the lady sitting next to him is kind enough to respect his personal space, talking as little as possible during the 20 hours flight.

 

Hendery doesn't say much, just smiles before shifting to set himself right again. 

 

When they finally arrived, he chases after Lucas anf Winwin. He's so used to having the taller boy by his side whenever they travel anywhere. It's a new change he supposed. And Hendery thinks he doesn't care about their friendship until today. He laughs at himself. 

 

Lucas walks ahead of them, pushing the trolley of bags until he sees someone holding the sign with his name. He told Hendery that he once came here with his father for a business trip and was introduced to Kun, supposedly the one who's smiling and hugging him now. There's another guy standing next to him. His face reminds Hendery of a Cheshire Cat.

 

"Hendery, Winwin, this is Kun." Lucas finally introduces them. "And this is Ten, Kun's fiance."

 

_ Ah, the Gods are plotting against him, huh? _

 

Hendery thinks of it as a punishment that he's surrounded by lovey-dovey couples while on a trip to the country he's wanted to go since young. He smiles anyway, defeated as he shakes Ten's hand. 

 

They were taken to a hotel just downtown of Kiev, not too far from where Kun and Ten lives. It's early April, yet the weather is as cold as ever. Thank god Hendery remembers to dress warmly. He doesn't have anyone to cuddle with, unlike his friends at the moment. 

 

Ironic how he's made more friends on this trip alone than he ever does in his 20 years of life. 

 

The first day goes by quickly. They visit the House with Chimeras, an Art Nouveau building located at the historic Lypky neighbourhood of Kiev. Hendery later learns that the name Chimaera does not refer to the mythology, but is referred to the achitectural style known as chimaera decoration which features animal figures as the main decorative elements. They could only admire the beauty from a distance though. 

 

Then they went to the Bessarabska Square, which was located at the southwest end of Khreshchatyk, the main thoroughfare of Kiev. People fill the open space and flocks in and out of the Bessarabsky Market, which houses tons of attraction including Mandarin Plaza shopping complex and the Metrohrad Shopping Complex located underground. 

 

Hendery, however, catches his eyes on something else.

 

Or someone, to put it in better words.

 

_ "Across the ocean, across the sea;  _

_ Starting to forget the way you look at me now." _

 

It's a popular song. Hendery's heard it a couple of times, but never as delicate as this. The voice is melodious and soft, as if calling out to him. The heavy sounds of a guitar fits nicely with the song and he stops in his tracks when he finds the owner of said voice, looking at him sing along with the small crowd gathering around him.

 

He's beautiful. There's a wide smile on his face as he sings, fingers moving smoothly on his guitar. Hendery knows that the guy is just singing a song as a show, earning a few bucks to probably help himself go through the day but he couldn't help the way his heart skips a beat. His breath taken away the moment he sees him smiling at his direction; their eyes met.

 

When he finally finishes the song, he bows to everyone, thanks them before starting to collect his stuffs and the money he earns. Hendery barely has the brain to process what is happening, but he's already holding out a $50 cash for the guy to take.

 

"Oh! Oh my god, that's a lot..." The amount startles the guy. Hendery notices that he's shorter than him.

 

"It's okay. Please take it." Hendery forces himself to smile, albeit awkwardly. "Your voice sounds really nice."

 

"Ah, thank you." He lets out a nervous laugh and Hendery feels butterflies swarming in his stomach. He's so much more beautiful up close.

 

But he’s so bad with words and the guy is leaving….

 

“Um, I’ll be here again tomorrow!” 

 

Hendery shouts to the distance. He doubts that he hears him, especially with the amount of crowd in the area. But he turns and gives him a smile, waving back at him and Hendery is suddenly so weak in his knees, quickly waving back.

 

“Dude, where have you been?” Lucas’ voice spooked him out of his skin.

 

“Oh, it’s nothing.” Hendery still has the same stupid grin plastered on his face.

 

“Yeah, right. Your face says otherwise.” He snickers before beckoning to follow him. “Anyway, let’s go. They’re all waiting at the cafe.”

 

 

 

 

 

  
  
It’s been two days ever since, and Hendery comes back to the market every night. The first night that he came back, the guy was nowhere to be seen. He waited until about 8pm. But the weather gets too harsh, and Hendery is never one to tolerate the cold weather, so he decided to go back. Devastated, he prayed that it wasn’t the first and last time he’d ever see him. He genuinely would love to see him again. His friends didn’t pry too much, and Lucas more than anyone else knew to not step into his boundaries. Hendery was grateful.

 

The second day, however, Hendery arrives early with two cups of coffee in his hands. There’s a cafe down the road that sells good coffee, according to Ten, so he stops by and gets two of them; one for the guy, if he ever comes, that is. Hendery sits on a bench, waiting patiently. 

 

It isn’t until half an hour later that Hendery finally notices him. He’s dressed in a blue hoodie, paired with a snapback and a pair of black jeans. He still looks beautiful like this. Hendery calls him out.

 

“H-Hi!” Hendery mentally slaps himself for stuttering.

 

The guy looks up as he puts his things down. “Oh, hey! You’re here.”

 

“I brought you coffee. Didn’t know what you like so I just bought Americano, is that fine?”

 

“Oh god, this is more than fine.” He laughs, taking the cup of coffee from Hendery’s hand. 

 

That’s when Hendery realizes that he doesn’t know his name yet. “I’m Hendery. What’s your name?”

 

“Just call me Xiaojun.”

 

They talk for a while, sitting on the bench as they finish the cups of coffee. Hendery learns a lot about Xiaojun. Like he comes to sing only on weekends and Tuesdays because he has late classes that go on until night on the other days. He’s from Guangdong, China and Hendery finds it fascinating that they’re actually conversing in English instead of Mandarin. He came here to pursue his dream in performing arts, and it’s always been a passion of his.

 

“What about you?”

 

Hendery’s smile fades as he thinks about any interesting occasions that’s ever happened in his life. Sure, he never has to worry about money or wealth or whatsoever. But his only good friend is Lucas and he’s alone in other parts of his memories. His parents fight all the time; he doesn’t think it’s worth sharing. And he’s pursuing a degree in international business; what’s fascinating about it anyway?

 

“Ah, it’s almost 6.30 now.” Xiaojun says after receiving a moment of silence. “I should start now. Maybe I should sing here today?”

 

_ Here? As in next to him? _

 

Xiaojun takes his guitar out and Hendery’s eyes sparkle in fascination even if his heart thrums loudly in his chest. A warm fuzzy feeling settled in Hendery’s gut as he pays attention to the way Xiaojun’s fingers moved on the guitar, attracting more and more people to watch his little show before starting to sing.

 

_"When I see your face;_

_There's not a thing that I would change 'cause you're amazing;_

_Just the way you are."_

 

Hendery knows nothing about music. But if Xiaojun keeps singing like this, he feels that he can get used to it; his angelic voice lulling him. He’s singing Just The Way You Are by Bruno Mars and it sounds so beautiful. Hendery doesn’t notice when it ends, too focused on his pretty face and soothing voice until the crowd dispersed and they are left alone again.

 

“I can drown in your voice alone.”

 

Xiaojun laughs again. He always sounds nervous, but Hendery figures that it’s just the way he is. Adorable.

 

“Wanna grab dinner? I know a place.”

 

Hendery agrees.

 

 

 

 

 

 

In the next following days though, Hendery couldn’t meet Xiaojun as he has classes until late at night. So Hendery went around town, a DSLR in hand and snap pictures as memories for himself. He didn’t normally go out alone whenever he’s travelling. But he didn’t want to disturb the lovebirds by dragging them everywhere. 

On Thursday morning, Ten showed him around town and they went to St Sophia’s Cathedral. The place is one of the seven wonders of Ukraine, the building white in color and houses many types of carvings within the cathedral. Coming to Ukraine really provides him more opportunities to appreciate art, and Ten is a great company who basically enjoys pretty much the same thing.

 

“So you’re gonna tell me who that is?”

 

Hendery jumps from his seat in the bus. He almost forgets that Ten is still sitting next to him. He quickly changes his expression to one of neutral, if not a small smile, instead of a dumb grin upon seeing the short text from Xiaojun.

 

“It’s nobody, really.”

 

Ten snickers before peering close to his phone. His concept of personal space is poor but strangely enough, Hendery is fine with it. He still hides his phone, though. And scowls.

 

“What?”

 

“Stop lying, Hendery. Who is she?” Ten asks again. “Or he? Come on, spill it out.”

 

Eventually he sighs. “Just a guy I met in the Bessarabska Square…”

 

Again, Ten snickers. “Huh, just a guy…”

 

“No, listen!” Hendery says a little too loudly and Ten’s eyes widen at the sudden shift of tone in his voice. “He sings like an angel and he’s the most beautiful guy I’ve ever seen! And Ten, his laugh! Oh my god, it’s heavenly. I can listen to his voice alone, Ten! You should listen to him si-”

Hendery’s face turns bright red as soon as he notices what he’s doing. Ten has a smug smile on his face and Hendery suddenly feels too exposed. He hugs his own jacket and slumps deeper into his own seat, eyes unfocused in embarrassment.

 

He doesn’t stop Ten from playing with his hair, however. “So? Are you gonna tell me more about him?”

 

Hendery wants to die.

 

 

 

 

 

  
  
Seeing Xiaojun again the day afterwards feels refreshing. The latter is wearing yet another hoodie, but it’s white in color with a small teddy bear located at the left side of his chest. Hendery thinks the pair of spectacles makes him look ten times hotter, and he’s not complaining at all.

 

“Sorry, I was late. Class just ended.”

 

“It’s fine.” Hendery smiles. In all honesty, Xiaojun isn’t late at all; five minutes maybe, passable for a ‘fashionably late’ excuse. 

 

“Have you ordered?” He asks as he looks through the menu, the spectacles now hanging low on the bridge of his nose. Cute.

 

“No, I was waiting for you.”

 

Once they place the orders, Hendery flashes a nervous smile. He’s never good with feelings, and Xiaojun is making him feel all sorts of things he’s never felt before. 

 

“Is there something on my face?” 

 

Hendery wants to kill himself for staring too much. “No, no! The spectacles...they’re cute.”

 

“Oh, this?” Xiaojun laughs as he adjusts it. “I wear it to class because it hurts to wear contacts for a long time.”

 

_ It fits you. You look really cute. _

 

But even with Ten’s advice lingering at the back of his mind, he couldn’t bring himself to say such things aloud. He’s too much of a nervous wreck for fuck’s sake.

 

And even with them walking side by side like this, hands barely brushing against one another; he’s too scared to speak out of his mind. Xiaojun is rambling about something, probably how his lecturer was giving him a hard time in dance class but Hendery is more focused on the way his voice resonates in the night air and how his eyes turn to small slits whenever he laughs. 

 

Hendery can really drown in his voice alone.

 

“-dery. Hendery!” 

 

He feels a force pulling him back and a swoosh of air greets his face, just a few millimetres away. Hendery feels his heart race. A huge tractor passes by him in full speed. Hendery is so close to his own death. He grips the hand holding his own in fear, feeling himself shake just slightly.

 

“Hendery, are you okay?” Xiaojun’s voice feels too distant all of a sudden as he takes a step backwards.

 

“Y-Yeah…” He whispers. “Thank you.”

 

He never lets go of Xiaojun’s hand that night.

 

 

 

 

 

  
  
They never talk about it again. To Xiaojun, it might just be an attempt to save a friend. But to Hendery, he owes him his life. 

 

They still meet whenever they can and Hendery comes to each and every single one of Xiaojun’s busking session. Time flies by a little too quickly, and Hendery wishes he can stay in Ukraine for a little longer. He genuinely likes the place, especially the architectural designs and the cathedrals. But he has commitments back in Macau and school is starting soon. He only has a day left to spend with Xiaojun.

 

“You should at least tell him.” Ten’s voice ringing in his ears. “If he doesn’t feel the same way, then you’d learn to let go. It’s painful, but you’ll get through it.”

 

That’s the problem. 

 

Hendery has been letting go his entire life. He lets go of his family, lets go of his desire to love and be loved; he even lets go of the opportunities to chase his dreams because his father wants him to inherit the family business. Business is never one of his passions; art is. But he couldn’t say that to his face, not when he’s letting go of his life without even trying to live in it.

 

“Xiaojun, can we talk?” 

 

Moonlight shines on his face, illuminating it and he looks oh so beautiful. His eyes sparkle even in the dim lights. They’re walking back to the nearest train station before parting ways and call it a day. It’s a routine that they do almost every time they meet.

But Hendery doesn’t want today to end the same. He figures that he should at least do something to make it special.

 

Xiaojun stops walking. “Sure, what is it?”

 

Hendery gathers up all of his courage to speak. Feelings are never his strong suit. But Ten has a point.

 

“I like you.”

 

There’s a moment of silence. Suddenly the sounds of wind become prominent in his ears and he feels a chill running up his spine. He shouldn’t regret this, not until Xiaojun replies-

 

“I like you too, silly! You’re my fr-”

 

“No, I love you.” Hendery blurts out. It’s too late to go back now. “I genuinely love you.”

 

“Hendery, stop-”

 

“I’m not lying, Xiao Dejun.” Hendery’s voice shakes. “I really like you. From the very first time I heard your voice, I thought you’re an angel. You’re too far for me to reach, yet too close for me to let go. I’m saying this before I go, so I won’t regret anything anymore.”

 

But he is. He’s regretting his decision because Xiaojun stays silent, his face an unreadable expression. Hendery feels his heart clench. He’s never done this before; is this how it’s supposed to feel? Suffocating and agonizing?

 

God, he _hates_ falling in love.

 

Xiaojun isn’t looking at him anymore, and Hendery feels his heart breaks into pieces. He lets out a breath he doesn’t know he’s been holding back, ready to speak again when he hears it; the voice he grows to love.

 

“You have no idea how long I’ve waited, Wong Kunhang.”

 

Xiaojun is just a step further from Hendery. 

 

He feels the tears that brim in the corner of his eyes, no longer have the need to hold himself back as he sobs but in laughter. Xiaojun breaks into laughter too as he helps in wiping the tears away. Gently, when the tears stop, Xiaojun cups his face and presses his lips against Hendery’s. Hendery feels revived and refreshed; kissing Xiaojun feels right and he likes it. He likes it a lot.

 

“I love you, Hendery.” Xiaojun whispers against his lips in Chinese for the first time. Ironic how it’s also the time when he confesses his feelings. “From the first time that you called me out, I really think that you’re good-looking. And you’re really kind. But do you know what I like the most about you?”

 

Hendery shakes his head, grinning from ear to ear.

 

He kisses him again. “Your smile. I don’t know much about you because you rarely talk about yourself. _But when you smile, the whole world stops and stare for a while_.”

 

Hendery feels like dying at the tremendous amount of love. _So the song was for him! The song that Xiaojun first sang with Hendery sitting next to him!_

 

_Cliche_. But Hendery takes it anyway. 

 

Because in the end, his world is no longer a canvas of grey or black and white. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> The first song is Be Alright by Justin Bieber. Xiaojun covered the song in a short vlog and you can listen to it [here](https://youtu.be/MGukDVMHn5g) !
> 
> He also covered Just The Way You Are [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sXaRtrlrrDM) so you can check it out~
> 
> I've always wanted to write something for this ship and finally!! I hope you guys enjoyed it :)
> 
>  
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/softenderys)  
> [curiouscat](curiouscat.me/tens_fingers)


End file.
